This shall be an innocent little post, attempting to lend some meaning to that sense of high-ness which punctuates one's being from time to time, when in the throws of the occasional sharaab, shabaab, kabaab and their many meta-figurative namesakes.
What is the root behind one getting high on something?
I conjecture the answer to this question to be, the sensation of risking something/ being in potential peril.
I realize that all highs are in the end resultants of dopamine and its kith and kin getting released in the bloodstream, by some gland somewhere in us. This post, in chewing more than it can chew, claims that such secretions are in turn triggered by said risk et al.
Further, I realize that there may not be a fool-proof method to prove such a hypothesis. I shall thus proceed to analyze some instances of high-ness, and what they degenerate to in the colooured lenses I adorn at this moment.
1. Starting with the basics, I have just downed 2 shots of Vodka, and a large Blender's.
I have in effect risked my own safety, along with that of those with me, and invited the loving anxieties of those who care enough.
And dopamine flows freely.
2. Ditto for smoking.
3. I am playing big on the stock market. I can feel the knife dropping, and know I must call it quits in that split second when the escalating market realizes it has flown too close to the sun, and stares down at a calamitous fall in prospect. The game has been built in a manner that a maximum is all that can satiate.
All I have, and ever will, rests on the next 178 seconds, and when I decide to pull.
And dopamine flows freely.
4. I'm riding a bike at 120 kmph, on a road heading up to a crowded mall on Saturday night. I have just passed two traffic police booths, each with cops blowing whistles.
I am endangering my own life.
I endanger the lives of the people around me.
I am an outlaw, and risk prosecution.
And dopamine flows freely.
5. I listen to a song, which in simple terms, takes me places. It takes me away from the humdrum colours of daily life, and shows me new things.
These things are defined by the absence of things that a less dreamy, more responsible self would indulge in; the duties and responsibilities one seeks freedom from.
Thus, for those fleeting moments, hours, days, one escapes the drudgery of reality;
one escapes that which reality seeks to dictate;
one decides to live the moment, in favour of looking ahead.
one risks the future, for the moment's bliss;
And dopamine flows freely.
6. I have an Operations Management exam tomorrow.
And all of a sudden, the lakes seem more inviting than ever;
the night sky seems more riddled than ever;
the lights, and all their reflections seem more transcendentally expressive than ever before.
And thus, one departs in to the night, music in head, camera in hand.
One gives in to the many fairies inviting one to indulge in their sweetness.
One lets tomorrow's exam look out for itself, trusting the highs of the moment to facilitate a greater learning later.
One risks tomorrow's exam, the consequent grade, resultant CGPA, effect on shortlists, and all that stems from that, for the sake of the moment's feel. After all, one is an admitted feel ka pujaari..
And dopamine flows freely.
7. I am in something I perceive to be love.
I have in effect risked my sanity, my joy and happiness, my sense of peace, in favour of something that holds potential for taking all of that to a higher plane.
I have risked my self, for the chance of finding that which may complete it.
And dopamine flows freely.
By now I hope you, kind passer-by, have gained some understanding of just what my line of thought is.
It is worth noting though, that at no point have I attempted to pass judgement on the relative virtuous-ness or otherwise of any of the mentioned high-ways, half of which I relate from personal experience.
In spirit, I would think of all the above to be same, though they each come with different appearances, and very varied social responses.
Such are things I guess.
Happy thinking!
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3 comments:
Its 6.30 am, put on my runners
I am running,lake, audi, howrah, pass by , music in in my ear.. i am running..
its6 pm,had the usual day, in my room, i m gyming, sweat is dripping, music on my 2.1system,.. i am exhausted.. one more pushup..onw more squat.. cnt do any more, i fell on the floor.. music is in my head...
its 2am..i am DJing, not going great, havent danced or drank or smoked or doped yet,,.. watthe heck music is in my blood..
its 4 am.. had my drink n smoke and dope, dancing with 7 girls, still music is in my arms...
..its 8.28am running again to the class,a sandwich n a cup of tea in my hand.. earphone on,..... music is in my Soul
and the dopamine is flowing freely...
Hmmm...
Im sure one could think of some angle by which all that beautiful music which flows within the self, drives something else out...
which in turns puts the host (that is you and me) in some form of risk...
bits and pieces of "irresponsibility", "reckless indulgence", "prioritization" et al come floating past...
what that exactly entails might get depressing for souls such as myself... thus i shall stop here!
PS: I plead guilty of course.. ;)
I like this :)
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