The meaning of intoxication?

This shall be an innocent little post, attempting to lend some meaning to that sense of high-ness which punctuates one's being from time to time, when in the throws of the occasional sharaab, shabaab, kabaab and their many meta-figurative namesakes.

What is the root behind one getting high on something?
I conjecture the answer to this question to be, the sensation of risking something/ being in potential peril.

I realize that all highs are in the end resultants of dopamine and its kith and kin getting released in the bloodstream, by some gland somewhere in us. This post, in chewing more than it can chew, claims that such secretions are in turn triggered by said risk et al.

Further, I realize that there may not be a fool-proof method to prove such a hypothesis. I shall thus proceed to analyze some instances of high-ness, and what they degenerate to in the colooured lenses I adorn at this moment.

1. Starting with the basics, I have just downed 2 shots of Vodka, and a large Blender's.
I have in effect risked my own safety, along with that of those with me, and invited the loving anxieties of those who care enough.
And dopamine flows freely.

2. Ditto for smoking.

3. I am playing big on the stock market. I can feel the knife dropping, and know I must call it quits in that split second when the escalating market realizes it has flown too close to the sun, and stares down at a calamitous fall in prospect. The game has been built in a manner that a maximum is all that can satiate.
All I have, and ever will, rests on the next 178 seconds, and when I decide to pull.
And dopamine flows freely.

4. I'm riding a bike at 120 kmph, on a road heading up to a crowded mall on Saturday night. I have just passed two traffic police booths, each with cops blowing whistles.
I am endangering my own life.
I endanger the lives of the people around me.
I am an outlaw, and risk prosecution.
And dopamine flows freely.

5. I listen to a song, which in simple terms, takes me places. It takes me away from the humdrum colours of daily life, and shows me new things.
These things are defined by the absence of things that a less dreamy, more responsible self would indulge in; the duties and responsibilities one seeks freedom from.
Thus, for those fleeting moments, hours, days, one escapes the drudgery of reality;
one escapes that which reality seeks to dictate;
one decides to live the moment, in favour of looking ahead.
one risks the future, for the moment's bliss;
And dopamine flows freely.

6. I have an Operations Management exam tomorrow.
And all of a sudden, the lakes seem more inviting than ever;
the night sky seems more riddled than ever;
the lights, and all their reflections seem more transcendentally expressive than ever before.
And thus, one departs in to the night, music in head, camera in hand.
One gives in to the many fairies inviting one to indulge in their sweetness.
One lets tomorrow's exam look out for itself, trusting the highs of the moment to facilitate a greater learning later.
One risks tomorrow's exam, the consequent grade, resultant CGPA, effect on shortlists, and all that stems from that, for the sake of the moment's feel. After all, one is an admitted feel ka pujaari..
And dopamine flows freely.

7. I am in something I perceive to be love.
I have in effect risked my sanity, my joy and happiness, my sense of peace, in favour of something that holds potential for taking all of that to a higher plane.
I have risked my self, for the chance of finding that which may complete it.
And dopamine flows freely.

By now I hope you, kind passer-by, have gained some understanding of just what my line of thought is.

It is worth noting though, that at no point have I attempted to pass judgement on the relative virtuous-ness or otherwise of any of the mentioned high-ways, half of which I relate from personal experience.

In spirit, I would think of all the above to be same, though they each come with different appearances, and very varied social responses.
Such are things I guess.

Happy thinking!

At Pune...

The last fortnight or so has been quite an experience.
Pursuing what is my first 'real' internship, at Tata Motors, with a motley bunch of co-interns, has been a WONderful experience.

Even the short span thus far has seen its little highs and lows, and together have painted a beautiful picture, beckoning a fascinating 6 more weeks in prospect.

If I were to list out some of the many wonders that contribute to the whole experience:
1. The campus - Strongly reminiscent of the splendours of NSIT and IIMC (No lakes however!).
2. The Nano, and all that it stands for.
3. The sheer scale of operations working all around you.
4. Finally, and most importantly, the people.

There have been presentations made, poetry composed, reports studied, music appreciated, conferences held, ALL, in good measure.
In short, amazing work, amazing thass, and an ever amusing, ever romancing balance between the two.

God bless!
Till we meet again..

BRB once again...

With my internship at Tata Motors (Yes, of the incredible Nano fame!) finally started now, blogging has taken a bit of a back seat.
And quite a ride its been till now as well, amazing campus, nice people, and the growing sense of awe when staring all around... :)

Be back soon.. perhaps sooner!

Count my little victories I do!

For those who follow the English and European club football scene, the above pic speaks enough.
And if you happen to be a Red Devil, then I can hear you laughing right now, from all these electron-miles afar.

Well, in case you happen to be ignorant on issues of such critical importance, then follow the trail below:

It all began here, with Rafa making this statement. (Of course, this is an approximated choice for the origin. To reach the absolute root would entail an exponentially magnified amount of time and effort... As is to be expected with any matter of such depth and gravity!)

This was followed by a streak of average performances by Liverpool, in stark contrast to a United that seemed untouchable.

However, as is observed often enough in these circles, United hit a bit of a slump, putting in below average performances, and watching their lead over Rafa's side shrink to a solitary point, albeit with a game in hand.

Then Rafa chose to say this.
After that United managed to steal a victory in a manner that didn't quite inspire enough confidence in my ilk.
On which Rafa said this, just prior to his European game against Chelsea.
That game, much to our delight, went this way.
A few days later, the wily old Fergie gave a bite of his own.

Since then, not too important to the context of this post, (thus no more links) another round of Premiership games has been played, with United still just managing a victory, thus maintaining their lead on the top.
Liverpool play Chelsea tomorrow with an uphill task on their hands, to say the very, very least.
United play the night after, also needing a bright performance if they are to continue their quest for the quintuple.
(On which I just saw this.)

On that sombred note, this update ends here.
Whatever happens, the image above has made all the twists and turns worth it, at least for now.

Amazing how something as (SEEMINGLY) worldly and material as all this, can now, at this point remind me of this.
Hmmm...

Sad at CP

This was the day of the amazing NSIT Spic Macay Alumni meet.
With 7-8 of us, covering most of the batches from 2004 to 2011, assembling for an evening high on the usual thass, one could hardly wait for the moment to arrive. One reached the venue dot on time, for a change, and thankfully the IST bug bit the others to a degree severe enough for one to fit in a quick trip to Oxford.

Now the time at Oxford, and then onwards with the gang, at SRC, CCD and finally at McD (and even the Metro ride back home) went as awesomely as expected, no doubts there.
However, that which left one with a stoically posed heart at the end of the day; which left one gaping at the times that we're in; which informed one, without a shadow of a doubt, that change had indeed come, and was here to stay for quite some time; that event, though not too grievous by itself, but depressingly symptomatic of a deeper issue, took place on the way to Oxford.

As stated previously, one confirmed one's 30minutes of velapan, and proceeded towards good old Oxford. That long straight road, Modern School on one side, and emerging high rises on the other, was a joy to walk through, especially with music as sublime as that elaborated on here. And how could one's camera, one of the few soulmates one shares with in the land of 7 lakes, and even that of ring roads now, stay behind. Thus, one found oneself blissfully 'la-lla-la-lla-la-la'-ing away, as one lived every stride of rich, unadulterated feel, bolstered by that which played in one's ear, and documented partially by the light-writing device in one's hand.

Then, as one had just clicked this pic, of the reflection in Oxford's brilliant Statesman House building, a cop comes up to me, and escorts me to the other side of the road. In the meantime I take off my earphones, turn off the camera, and start to picture what is to follow in my head.

Across the road, next to the average Police gypsy, stands another cop, with 1-2 more seated inside.
(Another Cop: AC
Me: Me

AC - "Aap kahaan se hain?"
Me - "Dilli.. Dwarka.."
AC - "Aap yeh snaps kheench rahe the?"
Me - "Haan..."
AC - "Kyun?"
Me - "Aise hi.. Sun set achha lag raha tha.."
AC - "Isliye buildings ke...?"
Me - "Haan.. Unke peeche sooraj doob raha hai, aur buildings mein reflection bhi jo pad rahe hain.. Generally, aisa kuch specific nahin kheench raha.. Bas achha lag raha tha.."
AC - "Aap karte kya hain?"
Me - "Student hoon"
AC - "Kahaan?"
Me - "IIM Calcutta"
AC - "I Card hai?"
Me - "Haan..."

With that, I hand him my jokaland i-card, which he inspects for a good 20 seconds.
Then, he looks at me, pauses, and extends his hand for a shake. I smile, and accept. He returns my card, I place it back, and proceed to exit.

Me - "Hmm.. Thank you.. Matlab, aajkal jo sab ho raha hai..."
AC - "Haan.. Ab kya karein.. Hamaari bhi majboori hai.."
Me - "Haan haan.. bilkul.."
AC - "Aap samajhdaar hai, toh aap samajh gaye.."
Me - "Bilkul bilkul.. Itna toh karna padta hi hai.. Ok.. Thank you.."

And with that, I continued my trip to Oxford, music back in place, and more or less back to normal.
Except, that I wasn't. For never before had it hit me, just how real the threat of terrorism, and its natural after-effects were to the life of an average individual. Never before had those trite alertness messages on the metro seemed more pertinent, for this one time, I was a suspect, albeit only for 5 minutes. Never before had my own freewheeling actions seemed closely resembling that of a potential terrorist, even to myself.

Such is the place that this menace has made for itself in our consciousness; such is the omnipresence that it boasts of today; indeed, such is the sickening success of this phenomenon, in the face of a hapless world, that our most intimate freedoms stand compromised on, for the larger good.

That, is what made me sad that beautiful evening, in spite of the brilliant thass that preceeded and succeeded those 5 minutes. A sad truth it is indeed. Till we reach a better day and night, imagine...

Belated BRB

Same as to the other world...